Minnesota Drivers

After more than three years in Minnesota, I am more than thoroughly convinced that Minnesotans may be some of the WORST drivers. EVER. Here's a top 10 list of why:

10. They all drive well below the speed limit.
9. Not only do they drive under the speed limit, they do so in the left hand lane.
8. When multiple drivers are forced to pass the afore-mentioned slow left hand lane driver, the passers all receive dirty looks but the slow driver will still fail to move over to a right hand lane, feeling entitled to drive slow in the left hand lane.
7. If a driver doesn’t like that you will actually use an empty (and legal) lane to drive in, they will actually drive partially in BOTH lanes in an attempt to stop you from driving in the empty (and LEGAL) lane.
6. No understanding of what yield actually means.
5. No sense of how to actually appropriately enter a freeway – they key is to speed up, not slow down.
4. If you’re going to pull out in front of me, just make sure you’re at least going to speed up and not stay at your maddenly slow pace – it will just make me want to tailgate you.
3 ½. I wanted to throw this one in even though it isn’t specifically related to drivers but it helps paint the picture of driving in Minnesota. The absolutely brilliant use of the clover leaf freeway on/off ramps is one of the most asinine things I’ve seen in poor road planning. Even in good conditions you have to cut your speed so dramatically that it makes it difficult when you finally make it to the freeway to merge at a decent speed. Winter driving on the clover leafs always gives me anxiety since any little bit of ice will put your car in the ditch. And the merges at the end/beginning of the clover leafs are all about 100 feet long so busy interchanges are a nightmare. A big thanks to the Einstein who thought clover leafs were a good idea. They are definitely NOT lucky.
3. Piling up all in one lane at stoplights rather than using both lanes. And, you get the stink eye if you use the free lane.
2. Randomly applying your breaks for no apparent reason. The closest car is two football fields away and there’s no reason to slow down. They just do.
1. Not knowing how to appropriately do a zipper merge when a lane ends 2… or 5 miles down the road. Once they know a lane will eventually end, they hit their breaks and try to merge over into the next lane. And then there is a huge pile up of cars that sometimes is miles long and no one is driving in the open lane except for me and a few other brilliant drivers that know that it’s still legal to drive in the lane and are willing to brave the wrath of the Minnesota (passive aggressive) “nice”. The real kicker is they are actually wasting MY hard earned tax money that I have to pay the state on a full-on PR campaign to teach Minnesotans how to merge. www.dothezippermerge.org. Check it out. A full radio/billboard/internet campaign on teaching people how to merge. Ridiculous.

So, until I leave the state, I will continue on with my West Coast driving ways. Even if it means enduring the hate-filled, stink-eyed wrath of the other Minnesota (passive aggressive) “nice” drivers, which is anything but nice.